WAR OF WORDS BETWEEN INDIA AND PAKISTAN

AUM
WAR OF WORDS BETWEEN INDIA & PAKISTAN
By Brigadier Chitranjan Sawant,VSM

The newspaper readers devoted to the print media do not wish to miss a single line on the political page and international page. There is an interesting feature in the India-Pakistan relationship that a feature writer would like to present in the most humorous way so that humour of healthy nature tickles men and women across the Wagah border. That is the place where one can officially cross over from one country to the other provided relevant papers are in order. Failing that one just feels free to cross over from any point in the porous border. If caught, just grease the palm of the border guard who may even thank you for your generosity.
It was the Interior minister of Pakistan, Abdul Rahman Malik, who fired the first shot. In a press conference, he went on record and said that the bomb blasts and civil cum political unrest in Pakistan are generated by the Taliban. So far so good and no one, east or west of the Suez canal, could object to this statement of fact. However, where he crossed the Lakshman rekha was when he declared as a Mr Knowall that it was India that provided all kinds of help and guidance to the Taliban terrorists to destabilise Pakistan. Some politicians shoot from the hip but old Rahman shot from the mouth. It is learnt that even India-haters and India baiters in Pakistan found it hard to swallow this line of the interior minister of Pakistan. There is not even an iota of evidence to substantiate what the interior minister of Pakistan had said in public. Some sober men thought that the minister was fresh from a diplomatic party where booze flows like water and, therefore, he was not to blame for being a bit high.
However, this wild statement made on the soil of Pakistan surpassed any of the wildest shots of cowboys in the wild west in Texas. Catching a straw in the wind, P Chidambaram, home minister of India thought it was an opportune moment to grab a headline in the international newspapers. He declared from the housetops that any terrorist misadventure by Pakistan on the soil of India would be given a fitting reply. That statement sent conscientious news reporters to the major cantonments in India to see and report any large scale movement of troops. None, my dear, none, said an old hat in an old cantonment.
The BSF and the CRPF that come directly under the home minister were not aware of any orders asking them to rush to the Pakistan border post haste. Obviously, Chidambaram had made this brave statement in the Meenakshi temple town of Madurai in Tamilnadu for the consumption of vegetarian men and women in his parliamentary constituency to ginger them up and be ready for any eventuality. Chidambaram was applauded by citizens down south because he had given a fitting reply to Rahman of Pakistan( not to be mixed up with our boy back home who is busy with composing a lullaby for warring groups of Tamil parties). Indeed it was more than a befitting reply from a knight in shining armour. It was RDX poised to have the better of TNT.
The political analysts are of the opinion that a war of words is any day better than a battle of tanks or clash of missiles with nuclear war heads. Let us thank the Almighty that the peaceful citizens are safe while politicians in the home departments of India and Pakistan are pouring ink on white paper and leaving children confused and adults laughing in their sleeves.
Well, the battle between two stalwarts has just been joined in. Indeed the lawyer from South India is an intellectual whereas personal information about the challenger across the border is rather scanty. He has just made a debut on the South Asian stage when he shot himself in the foot. You see, illegal ammunition in Pakistan is in plenty and is sold like red meat at every street corner. No wonder there are so many shooting incidents that the pressmen find it hard to cover.
Let us leave the warring ministers of both the countries alone so that they have an opportunity to be cool and sort out the nagging problems for ever.

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